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Random ramblings

So, I’m changing slowly but surely.

It’s a sad time to look at one’s life and realize how much improvements can be made.

Change #1: Weight. I hate it. I hate my body. I hate the way that I’m never happy with how I look. I hate that I can’t seem to get a firm grasp weight loss or ever keep the motivation to continue. Maybe my problem is that I’ve never really done it for me… I guess I have to change that. Yes, food is good. The way it makes me feel certainly is not. I hate the eaters remorse that I have after splurging.  I have to do it this for me. It won’t be easy but I have to.

Change #2: My actions.  I HATE that someone will hurt me or say something to upset me, and rather than confronting it I just let it go. Why? Because I’ve always felt that it’s better for me to have pain then to hurt anyone else or make them feel like crap. But why is it okay that they make me feel like crap? That I start to friggin hate myself. I’m done. When I have something to say, I’m gonna say it. I guess I should say be prepared everyone… cause you definitely won’t be used to it. It will surprise you how strong my feelings will be. I’m sure I’ll surprise myself by how nice it feels to not have so much crap weighing down on my mind.

Those are the two changes for now. Trust me, there will be more to come. I am on a path of changing myself for the better so I can actually start to love myself ;)

It’s hard to not have you here. I can be fine for the entire year, but I don’t think that I will ever be fine on this day. I feel like as I get older, each year gets harder. Cannot wait till the day that I get to see you again. I love you dad, keep shining down on me.

Join Ebates :)

Hey everyone! It’s unusual that I post links advertising businesses, but this is one that I LOVE! Ebates is a site that I constantly do my online shopping through. How it works: You sign into ebates (after making an account of course) and search for a store you plan to shop from.  Ebates then directs you to that site and you automatically earn a percentage of your purchase back! It’s really that simple.  Every quarter, a check is mailed out.. AKA FREE MONEY! :) Since joining last year, I have earned around $70 a quarter on stuff that I was going to buy anyways. Do me and yourself a favor and go check it out! Also, Ebates puts $5 in your account just for joining

TO JOIN: CLICK ON THE TITLE “JOIN EBATES :)” 

xoxo loves

Update!

Hello anyone who happens to be reading this :)

Just figured I’d give an update on my life.

Well to start off, I have been REALLY busy lately! I am currently taking college classes, working at a hotel, and a tax office. But you know what, I love it.. the tax office part anyways lol. I absolutely love doing taxes and have the very best boss ever! I’m happy that I was given the opportunity to do this :)

Babies, babies, babies.

Notice, the three babies? Oh yes, well that’s because my oldest sister is EXPECTING AGAIN!! Just putting it out there, I have a feeling it’s a boy. I may be wrong, but I was right with the last two :) Madi and Mason are growing up quicker than anyone would believe. Mason’s intelligence still amazes me.. quite frequently. Madi has something about her that could bring rain to the desert, sun to the very bottom of the ocean, and a smile on just about anyone’s face! She’s my little princess <3

Brandon is doing great! He has a job and we are lookin forward to moving in together. When the time comes of course :)

Jen’s currently in from Utah which is pretty freaking sweet. I’m sure I will be taking heavy advantage of her being here!

OH yeah, and Mace is turning FOUR is like a week and a half.. I can NOT NOT NOT believe it! He’s growing up so stinking quick.

Well, I’m pretty boring so I’m sure I’ll write again :)

Who Am I?

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am
But because of what You’ve done
Not because of what I’ve done
But because of who You’re 

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I’m calling
Lord, You catch me when I’m falling
And You’ve told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again.
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
not because of who i am
but because of what you done
not because of what i done 
but because of who you are

i am the flower quickly fading
here today and gone tomorrow
a wave tossed in the ocean(ocean) 
a vapor in the wind
still you here me when i call you 
lord you catch me when im falling
and you told me who i am (i am)
i am yours 

not because of who i am
but because of what you done
not because of what i done 
but because of who you are

i am the flower quickly fading
here today and gone tomorrow
a wave tossed in the ocean(ocean) 
a vapor in the wind
still you here me when i call you 
lord you catch me when im falling
and you told me who i am (i am)
i am yours, i am yours ,i am yours.

Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

I have absolutely always loved this song by the Casting Crowns. I heard it today on the radio and brought my love back!

It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not lived at all. In which case, you’ve failed by default.
J. K. Rowling
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